Marriage is one the most beautiful things I have yet to experience. The depth of the love that exist and is produced in a marriage, I believe, is one the greatest things on earth. How loves heals, frees, strengthens, protects, comforts, challenges, hurts, grows, creates, and numerous of other unspeakable things is beyond words. This type of love, real love, is what many long to experience. It’s this type of love that shifts our lens from black and white to color. But the question many of us may ask is why does it seem that some have the opportunity to experience this love and others don’t?
We’ll I really don’t know…LOL. Did you guys think I had the answer? Nope! But based on this conversation with a married woman of 7 years, I think I have an idea.
The answer: settle.
This is what she said…
Go ahead, clutch your pearls. Taste the disdain and disgust forming in your mouth right now. Heck, even be reminded in this moment of the “list” for your potential partner…the list you’ve had for years. Even hear the voice of every single one of your mentors, church mothers, and friends say, “Girl, don’t settle!”
And honestly I don’t think you should settle (in the traditional sense), however, I want with all my heart for both you and I to find that one person that will be right, not just now ,but in five years, ten years, and through out our lifetime.
So please consider this conversation and the idea of settling to be with “the one.”
From our conversation I learned:
We are limited in knowledge in what we need in a spouse. There is no way we can fully anticipate and project our emotional, physical, and spiritual needs for our life in a list written in our 20s.
We change. What I need when i’m 28 will be different than what I need when I’m 35 will be different than what I need when I'm 41. My partner has to be equipped to meet those needs. I can’t anticipate that with a list.
Some of the things that I desire in my life partner are preferences for comfort not needs for growth.
The freedom that comes with this conversation, by far, will do wonders in the lives of married and single women that are looking to be married. Love is what holds humanity together.