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Confession: How I discovered I was lonely
I have always, I mean always, found peace and contentment in my solitude. I enjoyed it. I sought it out. I needed it. My solitude allowed me to process thoughts, heal, and center myself. But this week my solitude was displaced rather abruptly with sadnesss and what I discovered was truly and simply, loneliness.
*Cues Janet Jackson*
*Singing* I get so lonely...Can't let just anybody hold me
I had been on high after intense social engagement from the past weekend and honestly my life (my job, social life, community, church, everything). By social engagement I mean, being out and about with friends, folks, & fun. I love people and deep connections. This is why being lonely came as a complete surprise, and was honestly, extremely difficult to acknowledge and accept. I never thought I would be the lonely one for all the common sense reasons. Because, again, I'm often in very people-centered settings sharing my heart and connecting and I do like my solitude. I often prefer it and need it. ( I guess I’m still trying to convince myself)
But this past week something told me that it wasn't solitude but rather, I was lonely.
Well, that something was really my mom.
She simply said, "You’re lonely. Cam, you don't have anyone to come home to. No kids. No dog. No man."
Me:
Also me:
So this week, I found myself trying to understand & reconcile how I got to this place of loneliness. In this week's podcast confession I share
1) the harsh reality of being single
2) why I hate single's event
3) why I do need/want that relationship
Listen up: