Life is overwhelming at this very moment. If I haven't said it before, I'm saying it now...I am literally living day by day. Daily bread is a lifestyle for me. Do not let the facebook posts, the giggles, or even the positive outlook fool you, there are plenty of times, more often than not that along side the excitement & laughter, I am also screaming out of frustration, fighting my old self tooth and nail, and/or trying my hardest to stay in the moment and stay present.
This is a roller coaster ride.
I know this because 1)I yelled at God the other day and yet still thank him. 2) I chose to take a bath & breathe but had plenty of work to do. 3) I know exactly what I want but I realized I also know nothing at all.
To make this clear, there are times when I am completely up, with my five smooth stones, ready to slay Goliath and hand out my millions of my imaginary Oprah dollars and other days if you even think about me wrong, I am ready and able to annihilate you and cry on the inside...yet peace is still very present.
It's a an interesting dynamic to be powerful and fragile, to lack but have everything you need, to frustrated but have clear sense of direction.
In this tumultuous space I am learning how to
1) Exist with perceived lack
2) How powerful I really am 3) How fragile I am
I have discovered a lot about the human emotions this delicate balance of sanity...
Listen to beauty I found in my struggle...
Don't forget to get your tickets!